Who cares for the carer? The signs that looking after a sick relative is wearing you out, and how to ask for help without guilt
Today, 5 November, is International Carers' Day. Specialists warn that putting off your own check-ups, sleeping less and drifting away from friends can seem temporary, until it becomes overload.
Photo: Salud3 / Imagen ilustrativa generada con IA · Imagen ilustrativa
Illustrative image: A woman seen from behind at a wooden table at night under a desk lamp, her head resting in her hands, next to a pill organiser, an open notebook and a mug; a half-open door shows a lamplit bedroom with a made bed. It does not depict any real person.
Booking appointments, giving medicines, going along to treatments and sorting out the unexpected. For people caring for a relative with a chronic illness, a disability or loss of independence, these tasks can take up much of the day, and the mind never fully switches off.
And hardly anyone asks how the carer is doing.
A load no one sees
Every 5 November marks International Carers' Day. For the occasion, specialists from INECO, an Argentine organisation devoted to mental health and the brain, explained in Infobae that caring is not only helping someone eat, bathe or move: it also means anticipating needs, organising routines and making decisions all the time.
"This responsibility can create a significant physical and emotional burden, especially when it falls on a single person," said occupational therapist Antonella Socastro. When the demands persist and support is not enough, so-called caregiver overload sets in: physical, emotional and social exhaustion.
The warning signs
According to the specialists, it usually starts with decisions that seem temporary:
- Putting off your own medical check-ups.
- Sleeping less or sleeping badly.
- Giving up activities you used to enjoy.
- Seeing your friends less and less.
Over time, irritability, trouble concentrating, feelings of guilt, isolation or loss of interest in usual things may appear. MedlinePlus, from the US National Library of Medicine, acknowledges that caregiving can be rewarding and strengthen your bond with a loved one, but also stressful and sometimes overwhelming: some people are "on call" 24 hours a day, work and also have children to look after. That is why it stresses not ignoring your own needs and looking after the carer's physical and mental health, because when you feel well, you can care better.
Carers often feel that asking for help means letting their relative down. But, as MedlinePlus points out, someone who feels well can care better. According to INECO, support from family, professionals and community resources is essential so that everything does not fall on one person.
How to care without neglecting yourself
The INECO specialists suggest several ideas:
- Share the caring: not just the tasks, but also the paperwork, appointments and decisions, which create a constant mental load.
- Keep some time for yourself, even if not everything is sorted.
- Learn about the illness and seek professional, family or community guidance.
- Don't do for the other person what they can still do alone: it helps preserve their independence.
"Identifying the abilities they still have and offering the right support encourages their participation in daily life," said neuropsychologist Andrea Palmieri.
If tiredness, distress or insomnia start to affect your daily life, don't let it slide: see your doctor or a mental health professional. Looking after yourself is also a way of caring.
Read also: No es solo cansancio: señales de depresión relacionadas con el sueño · Noviembre Azul: a qué edad hablar con el médico sobre el cáncer de próstata
Sources
For information only. It does not replace advice from a health professional. Medical disclaimer